I’m tired. My child is cranky. There’s glitter everywhere.
I had to work an overnight shift, until four thirty this morning. The baby routinely starts his day at six or seven, or eight at the latest, so I didn’t have a chance to get a whole lot of sleep. Consequently, I’m a zombie today. It’s a miracle I didn’t pour orange juice into my cereal or put my pants on backwards. And my book comes out tomorrow, so I’ve been running around trying not to hyperventilate and tear my hair out. On top of all that, kidlet learned how to climb stairs, so now he has yet another way of bringing about his untimely demise if I take my eyes off him for half a second.
I do crafts to calm myself, and because I once told my editor that it seemed to me she hoards her authors like a dragon does its shinies, I did a pretty terrible marker drawing of a dragon (I can’t draw people or animals to save my life, don’t tell anyone, it’ll bring down my street cred). Then I started gluing glitter all over it, because why wouldn’t I?
The cats may have walked through the glitter once or twice. But I’m sure my lovely, amazing editor will appreciate my grand gesture of one clumsy glittery cardboard dragon-like abomination.
If you’d like to marvel at my creation, head over to my Instagram, there’s a couple of pictures on it. 😀
Blech. Not a surprise to anyone, I’m sure, that I place bronchitis very firmly in the “no fun” category, especially now that my eleven-month-old has it as well. Tough to get anything done when my day currently consists of coughing spells, miserable kidlet, and me feeling sorry for myself. It’s the first time that my son has been actually sick sick, and since I’m not very good at the mommy thing yet, I spend a lot of time freaking out and trying to make sure that he’s comfortable, which means I have a harder time recovering, myself.
Apart from that, I’m having chocolate since that fixes everything, my cats are pouting because I don’t have enough energy to make them feel like they’re the center of the universe, and it’s snowing again which- ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!
Hey guys, I have awesome snow in my back yard. Free to a good home. Limited time offer. Bonus bronchitis included when you pick it up.
The kidlet has been cranky lately. He has also been busy playing with the world’s most annoying baby toy drum set. In trying to retain my sense of humor, I thought about what sorts of tracks the kidlet would lay down if he were to record a CD. Here’s the list:
1. Look It’s A Thing Lemme Bash You In The Face With It
2. Everybody Hurts (When I Chew On Them)
3. Hi My Name Is Kidlet And I Want To Put Carrots In Your Face
4. The Boobie Ballad
5. Everything Is Stupid But Napping Is Worse
6. Ode To My Feetses
7. What Is This I Put It In My Mouth
8. Sleep Is For Losers
9. Food On The Ceiling
10. NAKED! (And Why You Should Be, Too)
So I’ve been trying to come up with an idea of what I am even going to put on this blog. These days, it’s pretty much expected of an author to be maintaining a blog, to entertain with funny, informational and thoughtful commentary on… well, that’s the rub. Who the hell knows?! Am I even interesting enough to pull this off? I just want to write some books and stuff!
So I’ve been asking everyone within a ten mile radius the question “What in the world should I write about in my blog?” The answers I got were as follows.
My beta reader:
“Uhhh. I dunno? Funny work anecdotes. Funny baby anecdotes?”
“The exciting and eternal struggle of what to feed your husband for supper.”
“The intricacies of achieving world domination without opposable thumbs.” *
“Food! Wait, what’s a blog? Can I eat it?” *
“How everyone should sit as proper and precisely as I do.” *
… and that’s when I gave up.